Dear Me,
We've made it through another year... and yet again, we find ourselves wiping the worst of the past year -which is most of it- off our feet on the metaphorical doormat of the new year. There were many times this year when we honestly didn't think we'd make it through in one piece- or at all- but we've scraped through with a Pyrrhic victory that leaves us exhausted and barely functional.
As you know, we don't believe in New Years resolutions; as our lives should be non-stop quests for self-improvement and growth, and choosing just one arbitrary day every year to evaluate the past year and decide where to go next puts us on a slippery slope down to complacency and decadence. It is our duty to be our own harshest critics... because if we don't genuinely want to develop and be better people, then what's the point of life at all?
It is no secret that I am not the biggest fan of you. We've been forced to put up with each other, which we've been doing reluctantly for the better part of three decades; and although at times we've found means to stay out of each others' ways and co-exist peacefully, that was never the norm. When you were the only person I was regularly in touch with for the better part of two years living alone abroad, we both had to adapt and tone down the mutually destructive behavior... but now that that's over, we fell back into the same ancient pattern we thought we'd moved past.
There can be no progress as long as there are two equal forces acting in opposite directions... and if we don't make a conscious decision to change this dynamic, then New Year's eve of 2034 (if we somehow manage to stay alive that long) will still see us embroiled in a vicious civil war where there are no winners. We owe it to ourselves to rise above this bitter rivalry and start on the path to inner peace.
This is not going to be easy- very few people are actually at peace with who they are. Being loved by someone is an amazing feeling, but it pales to insignificance next to accepting and loving yourself- inner demons and flaws and all. That is not to say that we should accept the bad and not try to change it; but rather that we should strive to accept that we are, after all, only human... and that no matter what we do, we are fundamentally flawed and in need of constant improvement.
That said, I believe we can make an exception just this once and decide on a New Year's resolution; because this one is necessary and significantly overdue. We've pretty much tried every other way already... so starting January 2018, I will actually attempt to hate you less and perhaps even grow to accept you. I've toyed with this idea previously but nothing ever came of it... and it's about time I gave it a real shot. Although I think you are not currently worthy of love or praise, I will do my absolute best to improve you where I can and accept you where I can't... and in return, I expect that you will stop making it so easy for me to hate you; by being open to change.
Like it or not, we're stuck together for the long haul... so until that damn clock stops ticking, I vow to take the advice of someone who once meant the world to both of us and just learn to love you, you ugly son of a bitch.
Help me do it... make me proud for once.
Love (eventually, I hope),
Mahmoud Bondok
We've made it through another year... and yet again, we find ourselves wiping the worst of the past year -which is most of it- off our feet on the metaphorical doormat of the new year. There were many times this year when we honestly didn't think we'd make it through in one piece- or at all- but we've scraped through with a Pyrrhic victory that leaves us exhausted and barely functional.
As you know, we don't believe in New Years resolutions; as our lives should be non-stop quests for self-improvement and growth, and choosing just one arbitrary day every year to evaluate the past year and decide where to go next puts us on a slippery slope down to complacency and decadence. It is our duty to be our own harshest critics... because if we don't genuinely want to develop and be better people, then what's the point of life at all?
It is no secret that I am not the biggest fan of you. We've been forced to put up with each other, which we've been doing reluctantly for the better part of three decades; and although at times we've found means to stay out of each others' ways and co-exist peacefully, that was never the norm. When you were the only person I was regularly in touch with for the better part of two years living alone abroad, we both had to adapt and tone down the mutually destructive behavior... but now that that's over, we fell back into the same ancient pattern we thought we'd moved past.
There can be no progress as long as there are two equal forces acting in opposite directions... and if we don't make a conscious decision to change this dynamic, then New Year's eve of 2034 (if we somehow manage to stay alive that long) will still see us embroiled in a vicious civil war where there are no winners. We owe it to ourselves to rise above this bitter rivalry and start on the path to inner peace.
This is not going to be easy- very few people are actually at peace with who they are. Being loved by someone is an amazing feeling, but it pales to insignificance next to accepting and loving yourself- inner demons and flaws and all. That is not to say that we should accept the bad and not try to change it; but rather that we should strive to accept that we are, after all, only human... and that no matter what we do, we are fundamentally flawed and in need of constant improvement.
That said, I believe we can make an exception just this once and decide on a New Year's resolution; because this one is necessary and significantly overdue. We've pretty much tried every other way already... so starting January 2018, I will actually attempt to hate you less and perhaps even grow to accept you. I've toyed with this idea previously but nothing ever came of it... and it's about time I gave it a real shot. Although I think you are not currently worthy of love or praise, I will do my absolute best to improve you where I can and accept you where I can't... and in return, I expect that you will stop making it so easy for me to hate you; by being open to change.
Like it or not, we're stuck together for the long haul... so until that damn clock stops ticking, I vow to take the advice of someone who once meant the world to both of us and just learn to love you, you ugly son of a bitch.
Help me do it... make me proud for once.
Love (eventually, I hope),
Mahmoud Bondok
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