Never Again

Simple lyrics, for a simple man.

The song -a cover by the band Shinedown for Lynyrd Skynyrd’s woefully underrated “Simple Man”- had always been his all-time favorite song for a reason. Apart from the resonant acoustic notes and the lead singer’s haunting vocals; the lyrics had always touched him in a way no other song had ever quite managed- even the original version of the very same song.

The song describes a man’s mother’s advice to him growing up; the advice that would come to shape the adult, in time. Simple words, from a simple woman, to a simple boy who would grow up to be a simple man.

“Take your time, don’t live too fast.”
“Troubles will come and go.”
“You’ll find love, don’t seek it out.”
“Don’t forget that there is someone up above.”
“Follow your heart and nothing else.”
“You’ll find yourself, don’t worry.”
“Don’t chase money and materialistic things”
“All I want for you is to be satisfied”

Every single one of those statements might have been said by anyone’s mother, at any given time. They are not particularly unique thoughts or concepts one would want to teach their offspring…

Or so he’d always thought.

But it turns out, not everyone believes in these core beliefs.

Some people are all about hustle culture, and burning themselves out in pursuit of riches.

Some people spend years crying over what they don’t have, because they cannot appreciate what they do have.

Some people would rather marry someone they don’t love -or even like- than be alone.

Some people would rather follow money than their passions.

Some people put materialistic things and money way above concepts like empathy,  altruism and even basic respect for others.

These thoughts were enough to give him a huge surge of gratitude for his own mother; who had literally instilled every single one of the -what he believed to be- noble beliefs presented in the song in him at a very young age… which was perhaps why the song had always touched him so deeply. He was not just listening to a song; he was listening to his own mother’s advice to him; immortalized in song form.

After years of feeling forced to change and hate and suppress so many facets of his personality -and consequently, subconsciously avoiding this song and the emotional trauma it would bring- listening to it again was like a wake-up call… it was like he could see his past self; only from two or three years ago; looking at him with thinly-veiled disgust and pity. “Who are you?” He’d seemed to ask… and the truth is that for years, he thought he’d had no real answer to that question. 

Until he heard that song again.

It was just a song… and yet it was enough to remind him of who he truly was. And it was enough to remind him that he actually loved these things about himself.

He loved being simple, nonmaterial, spiritual and altruistic.

And so it was that as he listened to his favorite song for the first time in years, tears rolled down his cheeks and he began silently crying in earnest.

An unusual reaction, perhaps, but the minute it started, it was hard to imagine how he’d kept it in for so long.

He cried not from physical pain.
He cried not from intense emotional distress.
He cried not from trauma.
He cried not from mental illness.

He cried for who he was.

He cried for the sad direction his late-twenties had taken; instead of continuing the upwards trajectory he’d been on- into the realms of success and confidence and self-love; a steep downwards spiral into the dark pits of despair, self-doubt, self-hate and identity crisis.

He cried for all the lost time he could have spent loving himself and appreciating his good qualities and working on the flaws he -and only he- judged to be worth correcting.

He cried for wanting love so badly that he was willing to completely forget who he was, at the core.

He cried for having been so willing to turn his back on everything he’d stood for and everything he’d believed in.

He cried for having been so emotionally traumatized that he had even written almost nothing in the last two years of his life- a sure sign that he had been gradually and completely losing touch with who he was.

But most of all, he cried for having taken 29 years to actually realize that he loved himself… and that he would never try to change himself for anyone, no matter what or who.

For better or worse, he realized -or perhaps remembered- that he was the quintissential “Simple Man” of the song… and that he would never have it any other way.

Never.

Again.