Bondok's View of Life in Your 20s

Please note that this is simply my point of view, which you have the right to agree or disagree with.

Right off the bat, I'm gonna go ahead and shoot the elephant in the room up its massive butthole with a shotgun that shoots little shotguns;

I may be biased.

The fact that I am currently not hopelessly and irrevocably in love with anyone -anyone who isn't fictional, that is- might slightly cloud my judgement. Maybe this article would go a lot differently if I were one of the lucky ones who met their soul mates on a rainy day when they offered to share their umbrella or at a restaurant when they were both stood up by their blind dates or on the titanic when it sank and there was only one plank left floating and the bitch claimed it all for her fat, selfish ass- I'm getting sidetracked. My point is, the hopeless romantic in me admits that there maybe another valid point of view, which I would only agree with if I were in a loving, committed relationship with a girl I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with. But I'm not, so here goes.

I personally know several people who got married. I personally know even more people who are currently engaged. It's a person's basic right, they're quite within their rights to do it. I wish them all the happiness in the world, and I hope they enjoy the wild journey they're about to embark upon, and I'd really like to ask them out for dinner some time so they can give me tips on how to handle this pesky cardiac arrest habit I seem to have developed in response to whenever any girl starts getting too commitmenty with me. However, this is where it ends. I cannot see myself in their shoes, and even if I'd already met the girl I knew I wanted to marry, I doubt I'd be getting chained down at this point in my life.

What I've unfortunately felt recently is that the concept of marriage has devolved into some kind of competition. That's not to say that all people who get married do it to win some game, but it's definitely embedded into the psychology of 8 out of every 10 girls I know that she needs to draw the winning lottery ticket as quickly as possible before some imaginary deadline. I happen to personally know several examples of such girls, and I've had many pants-shittingly terrifying experiences with a couple of them, without going into too much detail. They all seemed to want to force a connection between us -a connection that wasn't there- just to meet some imaginary obligation only they could feel. 

In no time at all, the concept of marriage has changed from a proclamation of mutual love to the entire world to an opportunity to change your relationship status on Facebook and post some wedding photos with annoying captions like "my one and only, forever together <3" to try and make as many people as possible feel lonely and unfulfilled.

Speaking as a member of your target audience, I have to say I'm unimpressed. The fact that you're happily in love should matter only to you, not to your entire Facebook entourage. News flash: the pictures you share either induce indifference, jealousy, depression or "hide from newsfeed". If you were truly in love, you would generally not feel the need to obsessively share it on every social media outlet you have access to. If, on the other hand, you are only settling for the best option you currently have, then I feel sorry for you and go ahead and share the pictures so you can blunt the pain of the mistake you're going to have to spend the rest of your life dealing with. You'll have to forgive my bluntness, but that is exactly what people seem to forget about marriage.

If you're secure in your knowledge that you've picked the right person, I congratulate you. If you still haven't picked, then here are some warnings I hope you'll bear in mind:

MARRIAGE IS FINAL.

THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT IS OVER.

IT'S NOT ABOUT TAKING SOME SELFIES AND MAKING BABIES "BECAUSE HOW HARD COULD IT BE"?

Imagine, if you will, going to buy a pizza. You go to your favorite Italian pizza place and order a Quattro Formaggi pizza. The manager -who is running a terrible business model, admittedly- asks you to make sure your decision is final, because he will only ever serve you Quattro Formaggi pizzas from then on. One could argue that you could go to a different pizza place, but then one could get the fuck out of my narrative because this is MY tortured metaphor. Anyway, even a decision as trivial as this one -if you think about it- is not easy to make. What if I crave a pepperoni pizza? What if I get tired of blue cheese? Would I really like to spend the rest of my life eating THIS PIZZA, and nothing else? Wouldn't I eventually swear off pizza altogether?

The point is that a person's point of view changes a lot between the ages of 19 to 25... what was acceptable to you a year ago could make you roll your eyes or have a fit today. We are in a phase when our brains are maturing and we are deciding who we are, what we want in life and who we want to share it with. Maybe you hate blue cheese today but then a couple of months from now you'll start liking it. God knows, this exact thing happened to me this year. I'm sure you're not here to explore my adventures with blue cheese, but it's relevant: nothing is certain in this age range because we ourselves are ever-changing. Our tastes change, our wants change, our needs change. To choose a life partner at this age would be like getting a tattoo of a burger on your forehead because it seemed like a good idea at the time, when you were a (hungry and retarded) teenager, except that you're stuck with it for the rest of your life... unless you undergo a very painful and expensive procedure; divorce, in this metaphor.

Where is the logic in getting married before you know what you want in life? In my case, for example, I am currently working in a field that is as far removed from my college major as it gets. I'm at an uncertain stage in my career, and am unsure if I want to continue down that path or change my career altogether. I'm unsure where I'll live; maybe in Egypt, maybe in Europe, why not the Gulf, possibly the States. With so many variables, I would be insane to make such a decision now, when even my livelihood can still be called into question. How could I commit to supporting a family when I'm not even fully capable of supporting myself yet?

And you know what? I like that I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I like that there is no user's guide that I should follow. I like that I can do anything I want because I'm in my 20s. Now is the time to explore all the viable options, and make an affordable mistake or two. If not now, when?!

Marriage is responsibility, marriage is saying goodbye to your nonchalant spontaneity and independence. Overnight, you've suddenly forfeited your financial freedom and your control over your own life, and all of a sudden every decision you make affects two people, and it only gets harder from there if you decide to have kids.

Compare that suffocating reality to the life of a young adult bachelor, whose only dilemma is what to try next; where to live next; what to do next. No strings attached, no one to answer to. If you should decide to pack up and move to Europe tomorrow, who's stopping you? If you were to decide to go backpacking through East Asia (Europe is too mainstream), who would you have to convince? No one. You only answer to you, and that is priceless. At least to me. Over the past 22 years, I've visited 16 countries and I don't intend to stop there. In fact, the more I travel, the more I ache for more travel (maybe my blog's background picture should have given that away). I love getting familiar with foreign culture and history. Most importantly, I love meeting new people abroad, and that is never going to change for me. I live in a permanent state of wanderlust, and even though I was in Greece three weeks ago, I'd jump on a plane tomorrow and go anywhere else if I could take a few days off work. The day I stop travelling is the day I die, and it's something I've learned about myself because I've allowed myself to explore rather than got chained down at a needlessly young age.

Again, if you already know who you want to marry, I'm not convincing you to break up with them... but give yourself some breathing space! If you both know you're in love and getting married, why do you have to do it now? If you have to prove your intentions, then it feels more like a financial transaction than a marriage. Which I suppose is a huge part of marriage anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I'm the most hopelessly romantic guy in the world. My endless quest to find my "the one" often ends up in my being compared to Ted from How I Met Your Mother. I want the dog and the white picket fence more than most people who actually do have them. But I'm not gonna settle for any girl, she has to be perfect for me and we have to be in love. And I firmly believe that there is a time and place. The time is not until I'm at least 25. And the place is God knows where, because I'm in my twenties. The sky is the limit, and I'm gonna milk that feeling for all it's worth.

And there you have it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I will always be against picking out baby names when you should be exploring the world... and more importantly, yourself.